Community
What does it mean to make peace instead of just keeping it? Who do you need to talk to this week?
Scripture
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.
Matthew 5:9
“Two are better than one… For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–10
“Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance.” — Proverbs 27:17
“If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.” — Romans 12:18
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” — John 15:13
The Opposite Passion · Envy Zēlos
Seeing life as a zero-sum game, where someone else’s win is your loss.
Envy is the quiet poison of comparison — the feeling that another guy’s win is somehow your loss. It cannot celebrate anyone, because it is always keeping score, and it destroys brotherhood faster than anything: you cannot be a real friend to someone you are secretly competing with. ‘Blessed are the peacemakers’ is the cure — a peacemaker actively wants the other guy to flourish.
From American History · July 4, 1826 · Adams, Jefferson & Benjamin Rush
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson met as friends in 1775 and ruined each other in the election of 1800 — Adams would not even stay for the inauguration. They were enemies for over a decade. Their mutual friend Benjamin Rush dreamed the two of them reconciled, wrote to both about the dream, and would not let it go until they wrote to each other again. They died on the same day.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” — Matthew 5:9
Why this verse? Be careful with this one: nothing in the record has Rush quoting Matthew 5:9. The story is true and the fit is real, but the Beatitude is the book’s reading of the story, not Rush’s own words.
From the Fathers
“Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer · Life Together (1906–1945)
“We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.”
— Thomas Merton · New Seeds of Contemplation (1915–1968)
“Here we are, you and I, and I hope a third, Christ, in our midst.”
— Aelred of Rievaulx · Spiritual Friendship (1110–1167)
“If you live alone, whose feet will you wash?”
— Basil the Great · The Longer Rules (330–379)
“People who know nothing of God, and whose lives are centered on themselves, imagine they can only find themselves by asserting their own desires and ambitions and appetites in a struggle with the rest of the world.”
— Thomas Merton · New Seeds of Contemplation (1915–1968)
Talk About It
- Whose life do you find yourself comparing yourself to — and what does it do to you?
- Can you actually be glad when someone you compete with wins? Why is that so hard?
- Who actually knows the real you? How many people is that?
- Is there a low-grade conflict you could take one step to repair this week?
The Practice of the Week · One Real Conversation
Two small things this week. First: have one genuinely real conversation — ask a friend or family member how they’re actually doing, and answer honestly yourself when they ask you. No performing. Second: think of someone you’re in a low-grade conflict with — a friend, a sibling, a parent — and take one step toward peace. A text, an apology, sitting next to them. Small. Real.
- Pick one person and have one honest conversation this week.
- When they ask how you are, tell the truth.
- Name one person you’re at odds with.
- Take one concrete step toward peace with them.
Each day: Once a day, ask someone ‘how are you, really?’ — and actually listen to the answer.
May you be a man who is truly known, and a maker of peace wherever you go.