Contemplative Foundation for Young Men

Week 3 Attention

Prayer & the Examen

Reviewing your day with God instead of sleepwalking through it.

IThe Scripture

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

Read these slowly, aloud, before you say anything of your own.

“Pray without ceasing.”1 Thessalonians 5:17
“Lord, you have searched me, and you know me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You understand my thought from far off.”Psalm 139:1–3
“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.”Psalm 34:18
“In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”Philippians 4:6
IIThe Opposite Passion

Akēdia

Acedia

The Noonday Demon — restlessness of the whole soul

Spiritual numbness and listlessness — a frantic escape from the reality of the present moment.

Acedia is the desert word for that restless, two-o’clock feeling — bored, can’t sit still, can’t focus, want to be anywhere but here — so you reach for the phone, the snack, the game, anything. The monks called it the noonday demon, because it hits hardest in the flat middle of the day, and the flat middle of any commitment. It is the enemy of every practice in this course, because it whispers, ‘this is pointless, go do something else.’

‘Blessed are those who mourn’ is the strange opposite. Instead of escaping what you feel, you stay present to it — even the sadness — and find that you get comforted. The Examen is the trained opposite of acedia: it makes you stop and actually look at your day instead of numbing out of it.

IIIConsider Together

When do you feel that restless ‘I need to be doing something else’ itch the most? What do you reach for?

Why is it so much easier to numb out than to actually feel something hard?

IVThe Practice & The Skill

Prayer  •  the skill of the prayer of examen

Most of us run a whole day on autopilot. Something goes badly at nine a.m. — we don’t deal with it, we just carry it — and it bleeds into the next thing, and the next. The Examen is the off-switch for autopilot: an ancient daily prayer that walks back through your day with God.

Six simple steps: Be still (settle; ‘Lord, have mercy’). Give thanks — specifically; name actual moments, because gratitude literally rewires the brain. Reflect — how am I coming into this moment, and where did I feel drawn today? Pray — take one or two things and talk to God about them. Hope — hand tomorrow over. Surrender — open your hands.

Why ‘mourn’? Because the Examen makes you honest about the hard parts too — the day that flopped, the way you blew it. Jesus doesn’t bless the man who pretends he’s fine; he blesses the one who lets himself feel it, and gets comforted. You can’t be comforted for a wound you won’t admit.

VFrom the Fathers

Voices from the desert, the cloister, and the long line of men who walked this road before you.

“Prayer is the laying aside of thoughts.”

Evagrius Ponticus · On Prayer 345–399

“If you are a theologian, you will pray truly; and if you pray truly, you are a theologian.”

Evagrius Ponticus · On Prayer 345–399

“The time of business does not differ with me from the time of prayer; in the noise and clutter of my kitchen… I possess God in as great tranquillity as if I were upon my knees.”

Brother Lawrence · The Practice of the Presence of God c. 1614–1691

“The end of every monk and the perfection of his heart is unceasing and uninterrupted perseverance in prayer.”

John Cassian · Conferences c. 360–435

“In all that happens, my one desire and my one joy should be to know: ‘Here is the thing that God has willed for me. In this His love is found.’”

Thomas Merton · New Seeds of Contemplation 1915–1968

VIFor Your Life Today

A word for you, the one who leads — how this lands in a thirteen-year-old's real week.

Guys get handed about three acceptable emotions: fine, fired-up, and angry. Everything else gets stuffed. The Examen gives them words for what’s underneath — I was actually anxious about that test; I was actually hurt when they left me out. Naming it is the first step to it not running the day from the shadows.

The hardest steps for teens are specific gratitude (push them past ‘thanks for today’ to one real moment) and honest reflection. Acedia, in their world, looks like the bottomless scroll and quitting on anything hard. The Examen is the small daily rep that trains the opposite.

VIIConsider Together

What’s one specific good thing from today you could actually thank God for?

What’s something you’ve been carrying all day — or all week — without really looking at it?

The Practice of the Week
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Week 3 · Student Handout

Prayer & the Examen

Prayer · the skill of the prayer of examen

Scripture

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

“Pray without ceasing.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:17

“Lord, you have searched me, and you know me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You understand my thought from far off.” — Psalm 139:1–3

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

“In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” — Philippians 4:6

The Opposite Passion · Acedia Akēdia

Spiritual numbness and listlessness — a frantic escape from the reality of the present moment.

Acedia is the desert word for that restless, two-o’clock feeling — bored, can’t sit still, can’t focus, want to be anywhere but here — so you reach for the phone, the snack, the game, anything. The monks called it the noonday demon, because it hits hardest in the flat middle of the day, and the flat middle of any commitment. It is the enemy of every practice in this course, because it whispers, ‘this is pointless, go do something else.’

‘Blessed are those who mourn’ is the strange opposite. Instead of escaping what you feel, you stay present to it — even the sadness — and find that you get comforted. The Examen is the trained opposite of acedia: it makes you stop and actually look at your day instead of numbing out of it.

From the Fathers

“Prayer is the laying aside of thoughts.”
— Evagrius Ponticus · On Prayer (345–399)

“If you are a theologian, you will pray truly; and if you pray truly, you are a theologian.”
— Evagrius Ponticus · On Prayer (345–399)

“The time of business does not differ with me from the time of prayer; in the noise and clutter of my kitchen… I possess God in as great tranquillity as if I were upon my knees.”
— Brother Lawrence · The Practice of the Presence of God (c. 1614–1691)

“The end of every monk and the perfection of his heart is unceasing and uninterrupted perseverance in prayer.”
— John Cassian · Conferences (c. 360–435)

“In all that happens, my one desire and my one joy should be to know: ‘Here is the thing that God has willed for me. In this His love is found.’”
— Thomas Merton · New Seeds of Contemplation (1915–1968)

Talk About It

  1. When do you feel that restless ‘I need to be doing something else’ itch the most? What do you reach for?
  2. Why is it so much easier to numb out than to actually feel something hard?
  3. What’s one specific good thing from today you could actually thank God for?
  4. What’s something you’ve been carrying all day — or all week — without really looking at it?

The Practice of the Week · The Daily Examen

Use the six steps at the end of each day (or over lunch, reviewing your morning). Keep them on a card by your bed. It can be as short as ten minutes — the form matters less than the repetition.

  1. BE STILL — one breath; ‘Lord, have mercy.’
  2. GIVE THANKS — three specific gifts from today.
  3. REFLECT — how am I really? Where did I feel drawn?
  4. PRAY — talk to God about one or two of them.
  5. HOPE — look at tomorrow; hand it over.
  6. SURRENDER — open your hands: ‘I give myself to you.’

Each day: If ten minutes is too much, do thirty seconds: one thank-you and one honest word about your day.

May you stop running from your own day long enough to find God already in it.

Week 3 of X · Ora et Labora